When God Gave Me Chocolate

My Ph.D. story: Issue Three

The night before my first tutoring session — with me as a tutor, not as a student — I was very nervous. I conjured up all kinds of questions I could be asked and which I would not know the answers to. I imagined spilling coffee over my materials; I pondered about possible digital pitfalls. Finally, I decided to prepare my lunch for the big day to calm my mind and give myself something to do. As a bonus, I put in a chocolate bar I intended to eat just before my session. A treat for me and as a snack before the tutoring session would commence late in the afternoon.

Photo by amirali mirhashemian on Unsplash

The next day, Wednesday it was, I went out into the parks over lunch. Instead of having a usual break, I rode my bike across the University’s campus, over a bridge, and was out in the greens. In the summertime, the area was crowded with people. Students cross it on their way to and from University, young couples take their children out for a fun time, and elderly people pass by chatting. It was autumn already, and the leaves were glowing red, then yellow, and ended in an explosion of brown when they sailed away on windy days. But I was lucky; the weather was mild, the sun gleaned from a clear autumn sky, and no wind was rushing through the leaves.

The park I visited had a place specially designated for sportive activities. It featured monkey bars and other parkour-like elements where athletes often trained, especially in the evenings. After a full day of work, people would gather to clear their minds, breathe, and refuel together. However, when I was there over lunch this Wednesday, there was nobody else around. A couple of people passed by, taking a stroll over lunch or carrying grocery bags. Besides these passers-by, I had the place to myself.

I felt I needed the rest; in a few hours, I would be giving my first tutoring session, and now I took the time to refuel and rebalance. Doing something for the first time always has something overwhelming to it, and I needed the outside to relax. While warming up, working out, and cooling down, I let my mind wander, looking over my city’s green hills. Having a campus near the greens is extraordinary. In less than a minute, I can be out in the fields, and in five, I could be in the parks. It’s always revigorating to give the mind a rest from the external…